the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
