I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
