I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
