I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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