I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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