i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
