A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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