You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
