I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
