Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
