I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
