"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
