so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
