I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
