It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
