The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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