I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
