Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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