we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
