I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
