If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
