i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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