People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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