dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
