remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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