Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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