had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
