so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We are all done wearing pants today
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
