And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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