Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
