Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
