That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
