Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
