Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
