I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
