so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
