You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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