SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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