you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She even gives head with a lisp.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
