just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
