So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
