3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
