just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
