If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
