He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
