Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
