i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
