i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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