I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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