Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
