Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
soo... how was my night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
