I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
