Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
