If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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