I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
