the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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