Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
